Secrets to success: Building a reliable, strong support system
Women are forging paths, defying odds and shattering glass ceilings. Their journey — marked by resilience, determination and unwavering courage — serves as an inspiration to all. Yet, behind every success story lies a network of support demonstrating that no one truly navigates their journey alone.
In honor of Women’s History Month, we are sharing inspiring stories from women at Kellogg who are helping illuminate the path for others, and we celebrate the collective efforts empowering them. In this second installment, you’ll meet Gabby Berger Sainati ’13 MBA who speaks candidly about the invisible load of motherhood and work. She also talks about her decision to pause climbing the corporate ladder to focus on her family and shares why individual success depends on a collective effort.
By Gabby Berger Sainati
When Kellogg asked me to write about the “secrets to my success,” I was honored, yet surprised. I often feel more like a “work in progress” than a success as I try to advance my career while raising three kids under the age of seven. With kids, it can become exceedingly difficult to separate your professional and personal life. When these cute little variables enter the equation, they and their developing immune systems can throw your life off balance faster than you can say “My tummy hurts.”
After welcoming my third daughter, I decided to walk away from a high-profile role at a company that I loved to focus on both my family and myself. I am in the middle of what I expect to be a decades-long career, but my kids will only be this small and cuddly for a few years. One of my goals for this time off was to get more involved in the Kellogg community, so I’m happy to share what I’ve learned at this career mid-point with others who may be fumbling through this season of life too.
For nearly a decade, I worked at Amazon launching and managing billion-dollar businesses while somehow also managing to build a family and get promoted along the way. When I took on my most challenging yet rewarding role as a mom, it came with some humbling new responsibilities and experiences. One minute I would be holding court among multiple vice presidents debating my business strategy, and the next, I was getting yelled at for cutting my toddler’s banana into circles when I clearly should have cut wedges — my bad. Despite the beautiful chaos of balancing a corporate career while raising tiny humans, I did manage to achieve something that even I thought was near impossible – I got promoted after having two kids. And I’ll tell you exactly how I did it: just barely.
I wish I could share secrets like the precise amount of coffee to counter-balance sleep deprivation or the best brand of air fryer to save time feeding your kids, so you can send that one last email. However, these magic bullets either don’t exist or I haven’t found them yet. Although I’ve accumulated tips and tricks along the way around how to thrive within a demanding corporate culture, those too won’t make much of a difference without the time you need to truly focus at work. The truth is that my so-called “secrets” are the people I surrounded myself with, or in some cases employed, to help balance it all. This network of support often goes unacknowledged in parenting blogs or women’s magazines, but they gave me the space I needed to shine at work and the support to be a more present mother and spouse. I truly can’t thank each member of this village enough, but let’s try.
First, I’d like to thank my eldest daughter who quickly taught me that I had to be far more efficient with my working hours. I no longer had the flexibility to randomly work an extra unplanned hour. The mom shift started when childcare ended, and I wanted to be there for dinner and bedtime snuggles. This forced me to ruthlessly prioritize projects by saying “no” or “not now” to tasks that were not urgent or essential to my team’s success and delegate more to my team and peers.
Second on the list: my husband, Nick Sainati ’13 MBA who joined me on this never-ending group project of building a life together full of laughter, spreadsheets and little blonde-haired girls. Together, we decided a few years ago to slow down our corporate career trajectories and move close to family, so we could be around the people we loved and get some extra support. His role, leading a family manufacturing business, affords him more flexibility and autonomy with no vice president report outs or presentation deadlines. When I had to step on the gas at work, he knew every major meeting and deadline I had so that when something unexpected inevitably came up, he had the flexibility to step in to help me keep up with my demanding corporate schedule.
Next up is my nanny who provides consistent and reliable full-time childcare for our family between 8am and 5pm during the weekdays. We have gone through many childcare iterations through the years. I am grateful for each of the kind and reliable women who have lovingly kept our children safe, fed and happy, so that we could both focus on our jobs while they were on the clock. Not all heroes wear capes – some wear oversized sweatshirts and make the best mac and cheese.
Then there is my mom who is the pinch hitter we call in when life throws us curve balls. She routinely helps with odds and ends around the house and babysits occasionally, so we can have a date night. She also has the flexibility to rearrange her schedule to step in when a nanny calls in sick or an appliance breaks, and we need to find a professional to fix it ASAP. We can’t thank her enough for the backup support she provides our family.
I also need to thank the additional helpers we’ve brought on to outsource routine household tasks. We decided we would rather spend our weekends reading books and making forts instead of scrubbing toilets and chopping vegetables, so we chose to outsource weekly house cleaning and meal prep — both of which ended up paying for themselves in terms of time and cost savings (apologies to my Postmates). We still do our fair share of cleaning up after our little love bugs, so that we don’t get actual bugs, but this allows us to maximize our quality family time with our girls while they still want to be around us.
Finally, I need to thank my “board of advisors”: the women in my life who give me the encouragement and advice I need to survive the ups and downs of balancing a demanding career with a growing family. This includes my mentors, each around five to eight years ahead of me professionally, who provide critical advice on navigating Amazon’s unique corporate culture while creating personal life boundaries. My work besties are always there for me when I want to vent or need encouragement to muster the energy to keep going. And of course, this includes my Kellogg classmates, an impressive group of women, each in different life phases, who give me endless inspiration, motivation, and when needed, commiseration.
While the individuals in my support network are unique, my situation is not. I bet If you peek inside the windows of any seemingly “successful” corporate mom’s home, you will most likely find some version of this structure. Whether it’s daycare instead of a nanny; friends and babysitters instead of grandparents; or meal kits and laundry service to outsource essential tasks, we are all doing our best to balance the demands of family life and career progression while finding some time to enjoy it along the way. Building this support structure can also come with additional expenses, which for me, required that I be candid about my salary expectations and negotiate for compensation increases when I had leverage to do so.
The bottom line is that we were not made to do this alone. Although, I feel like we are always one stomach bug away from everything falling apart, this support network has helped our family hold it together for the past six years and continues to evolve as our needs change and our kids get older. Just know that the only right answer is what works best for you and your family.
Even though I’m taking a short break now, the last five years of accelerating my career at Amazon while also growing our family have been the most rewarding both professionally and personally. And I wouldn’t change a thing — except maybe invest in a coffee maker a little sooner.
A day in the life of: Gabby Berger Sainati
More in this series:
Secrets to success: Drawing resilience from family
Secrets to success: Releasing the ideas of perfection and focusing on impact